Sunday, January 19, 2014

Dinner at My House

The kids were unusually wild at the table.  Even before getting the table set there had been two fights and everyone fussing.  Brenna and I looked at each other with quite a few eye rolls, and I lofted up a suggestion that we eat somewhere else…like in the basement away from the kids.

As dinner got started, the kids weren't eating much and talking and fussing more.  As I attempted several tactics at gaining control of the kids behavior (nice suggestions, sour looks, corrective comments, etc., all ineffectual at best, I realized Brenna is better at handling kids for sure.  I think that Brenna and I should come to the dinner table with a black and white jersey and several yellow flags and a whistle sometimes.

Here are some of the heinous behaviors that went on at dinner:

  • Someone asked, "Would a T-Rex use a fork like this?"  Promptly dropping the fully loaded fork.
  • Bryce tried to use the Force ala Star Wars to get the apple sauce by pointing his had at it and looking like he was straining really hard.
  • Aiden actually used the force…and a "may I have the applesauce?" question that worked.  His success then generated something of an "excessive celebration" penalty worthy touchdown dance.
  • A game of squirrell random trivia replete with stunning tidbits of knowledge like, squirrells eat nuts, squirrels sleep in trees, squirrells have "poofy tails", and they look bad when flat on the road.
  • Bryce breaking into a Broadway musical solo that basically (and noisly) expanded on the theme that his brother is smelly.
  • Aiden actually being smelly.
  • Ansley and Bryce pushing on each other and then telling on the other one with greater and greater exadgerations on what actually happened.  
  • Complementing Brenna's cooking by saying that they loved the, "Soda".  Which, by the way, the kids didn't even have…sooo…what's that say?
  • A thoroughly frustrated Brenna pulled out a list of Do's and Dont's at dinner for etiquette purposes and the kids basically did whatever she said not to do.  Loudly and with great vigor.
  • I couldn't stop laughing so I had to leave the table early and willl sneak back in there later and clean up to make up for leaving my poor wife with the screaming hordes.

Maybe next time the parents can keep the dinner kids' behavior at a more normal level.  Whatever normal is…