Friday, December 19, 2008

The Christmas Tree Farm

I notice that it was only about three posts ago that we were at this same farm, Old Baker Farm that is. The “middle aged” Baker must love folks like us, and we see him every time we go out there. I doubt that Old Baker cares in the slightest because he just turned 99 or something. We bring all 5 of us out there 3x a year for whatever seasonal item they may be selling. It is fun, don’t get me wrong…

Brenna and I were looking at each other after about 2 minutes realizing that 3 kids in a Christmas Tree farm creates certain “containment” issues. The kids are quite adept at Sun Tzu’s Divide and Conquer strategies by their very nature. They all split up and run in a tree farm where hiding is not only easy, but can be done without even intending to.

We spent a lot of time yelling the kids names when they were 5 feet from us. “What?” would be heard from the missing kid from right behind a nearby tree.

The search was difficult this year. We don’t have a big spot for the tree, so only a certain size would be practical without needing a Chevy Chase in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation type of moment. You know the one…The tree’s too big and he ends up using a chainsaw in the driveway to make it fit. This scene also presented all of us with one of my favorite bits of script

Todd Chester: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.
Todd Chester: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
Clark: [looking at Todd's wife, Margo] I wasn't talking to you.

Yep, it’s still funny, but I digress.

We walked forever to find a suitable tree, and during that process, the kids got bored and ended up sprinting through a muddy corn field. Cute, but it didn’t help with any of the tree search. Bryce and Ansley were off and running!

Aiden wasn't far behind either.



When we did finally happen onto a good tree, Bryce insisted that we take a vote on it. I had to modify the voting rules so that the parent’s votes counted 2x as much as the kids’.

Why you ask? Simple...

I knew they would gang up on us and pick a 150’ tall sequoia of a tree complete with an extended family of flying squirrels, a bee hive, and a bear living in the trunk… Fortunately, Brenna and I won the vote, and even more fortunately the kids didn’t fully understand my blatant vote rigging that even a Illinois politician would have been proud of...

Here is a mental note for our selection process next year and something for any of you first time parents, never give a saw to a kid that is wearing his coat like a superman cape. Things can go wrong…


Look baby goats! Can we take one home???

Trimming the Tree

When we got the tree into the house and opened it up, we noticed that it has a bad case of tree scoliosis, and as the kids put it, “Its Fat!”
I don’t care that the angel is leaning precariously and that it’s obese. The tree is fat not the Angel...
It’s a great tree and will hold a whole ton of presents!

I wonder if a Titanium Bike would fit under there?

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