Tuesday, March 10, 2009

What are they?!? The shocking truth!!!

For years, I believed that I had the perfect but not-so-little family. Brenna and I were happy parents of 1 and then 2 and now 3 little kids. The grass was green, birds chirped, the sun shone warmly upon all of us. (Imagine a classic Disney image here complete with angelic choirs)

But I have noticed something strange happening recently. (Cue the ominous music and storm clouds)

I hear constant rustling and thumping throughout the house. I see random objects scattered around the house everywhere like little animals have been in the rooms but ran to hide as soon as I entered the house. The kids tend to sleep in a big pile in one bed for warmth or something. (No, I know the economy is bad but I do have the heat on. I’m not that cheap. Pfft...)

Furthermore, Brenna called me the other day and said that “someone”, I won’t name names but I know where you sit for dinner, had stashed a half eaten sandwich behind a plant. Why? Was my child saving it for later? I know a possible answer is due to the wonderfully brilliant and loving parental figures stating, “Finish your dinner and you can have dessert.” “Done Mom!”, was probably exclaimed with much fanfare within seconds of the stashing of the sandwich.

Then, I was cleaning up the other day, and found no less than 3 sippy cups. One was under a couch, another under a table, and one in a toy box like they had been hidden there for later use. The one from the toy box went DIRECTLY in the trash. Some are just too terrifying to open and clean.

I know who you are as well, Mr. Cup-Stasher, as you are the only one left in the house using them. You can’t fool me, Hahahahaha! Cough…ahem

This morning, I was looking out the window while pondering the rustling and thumping sounds in the next room, and I had an epiphany. I saw a small furry animal scampering around leaving stuff in its path across our deck. Then it went and buried a nut or some other questionably edible object it had found so that it could conveniently forget it.

And then it came to me… (A thought came to me, not the animal I was watching. Seriously people...)

Dare I say it?

Dare! Dare!! Ok…name the movie that came from.

My Disney-esque family is actually three fifths squirrels. GASP!!!

It seems that anyone in my house under the age of 7 exhibits an uncannily squirrel-like pattern of behavior. The constant random motion, the constant chattering noise, the ability to instantly hide when I get in sight, leaving a big fat mess, tearing up the house (anyone who has had squirrels get into the house can attest to the truth in this), sleeping in a big “nest”, the ability to get into anything they aren’t supposed to, and hiding food all over and forgetting it.

I am shocked and strangely fascinated by this revelation. I need to continue to observe the patterns of these oversized, minimally furry, and tail-less species of squirrel to confirm my hypothesis. I will certainly monitor and record the behaviors over the next years trying not to disturb these amazing creatures in their natural habitat…which is, only semi-conveniently, my house.

I’ll be like the Jane Goodall of this potentially un-recorded species of squirrel. Oh, how very exciting…

Maybe I should put a call into Discovery Channel or Animal Planet? I probably won’t call animal control… just yet

Bryce does love Star Wars... perhaps another similarly squirrely trait? You decide...

1 comment:

Jeff Richardson said...

That's a great post right there! Keep up with that one as your kids will want to read that one day...when they hopefully outgrow their Squirrel Phase, maybe?!