Thursday, April 10, 2008

Baseball Games & Kids

Aiden's first Baseball game! We went to the Birmingham Barons game here in town when Nana & Papa visited last weekend. It was a great day and was wonderful fun, but there was definitely some comedic potential to having that many kids enjoying America's Pastime. Aiden had his head on a swivel the whole time with all the people and activities going on around him.

Ok, for you baseball fans out there, this post is for you. For those of you that have kids already, and have attempted this sort of entertainment, you probably will just grin. For those of you without kids, this will have some wonderfully informative tidbits of information for you. You may use this invaluable knowledge at absolutely no cost to you! Once you read this, you can annoy your buddies that do have kids by giving them advice on how to handle these situations, and that in itself is funny. No no..keep the money that you want to give me for this knowledge...I am a giver, that's just the guy I am. You, non parents, soon to be armed with advanced knowledge on how to handle children at long and slow (but never boring mind you) baseball games, can show that you are so prepared for being parents that actual parents will let you take their kids to the games instead! Now if this were to actually happen, I would be torn to come to the game anyway, and sit at a distance and watch you, the non parent, deal with the little people with short attention spans. My other thought would be to go do something cool that I don't get to do anymore because of said little people.

1st inning: You will miss it, so don't even try to get to the seats. The first pitch will be thrown before you even reach the ballpark because you are struggling with car seat latches, kids that are off in their own world, and finding the ten thousand things that should be in the back of the collapsible stroller.

2nd inning: You will have found the seats, sort of, but now you need to go for the first of many "concession stand runs". I recommend very sugary drinks, hot dogs, and chicken fingers.
Price tag? 100$.

3rd inning: Clean up ketchup off your daughters shirt and the surrounding seats. Go ahead and sacrifice your shirt for this. The 5 inch tall stack of napkins will have been used to clean up the whole soda that was spilled seconds earlier.

4th inning: Watch 3 pitches and if you are lucky it will be your team will be up to bat and you might see a hit...maybe. Head to the concession stand. Peanuts, more soda.
Price tag 40$.

Hey a hit!

5th inning: You will get to watch this one since the peanuts will occupy the kiddo's for a bit. It is crucial to have difficult food. i.e. difficult to eat in one long sucking sound. It will last longer.
6th inning: Start dropping the bribery bombs now. You should wisely keep the big guns in reserve. Ice cream or slushies if they sit through the 7th inning stretch so you can watch yet another inning. They won't actually sit, but they may stay close enough that you don't have to get up and run after them or take the walk of shame to the PA box for another lost kid announcement.
7th inning: Ah, now your plan is working. After the stretch, take them with as much fanfare you can muster, to the ice cream or slushy stand for their reward for "Being so good and watching the game!" Hint:" More napkins...lots and lots of entire Sequoia worth of napkins...
Price tag: $20

You will spend the 8th and 9th laughing at the mess as they eat their cold and sugary goodies instead of watching the game yourself. No no no! You keep your hands to yourself! Don't touch me with those sticky fingers!

Ack...what do they put in that stuff?

NOTE: Just to clarify. Not all of this happened at this game, but is a silly compilation of many sporting events I have gone to with kids (Not all my own either). Even so, it may be a more accurate portrayal of events than I want to admit. Let me state for the record that the kids really were great at the aforementioned game, and we had a great time, so don't think it was as much of a disaster as the above commentary might lead you to believe...


Papa&Nana said...

Great pictures, including the stop-action photo of the B Barons batter. The best, of course, is the one of the two tongues, red and blue.

I had a great time that day--we created wonderful memories.


Papa&Nana said...

Your commentary was outstanding, too. Now, if some non-parents (as you call them) would actually read your baseball post, they would laugh at first and then begin to get the bigger picture and think about what they are doing.

No ... no ... no, that was just said for effect. There is nothing better than taking little ones to a baseball game.

The Richardson Family said...

All I can say is that Man I am ready to take my family to the Met to watcha baseball game...NOT!!!! That's hilarious. I can just imagine what it would be like if we took them all TOGETHER! We would need lots and lots of beer to wash the sticky off with...and make the price tag of a day like that go down a little easier!

The Bernings said...

I've had some experiences kind of similar to this. We took Jimmy to Wrigley for a Cubs game last year and to a Reds game in Cincy, but he was young enough and small enough that we were able to control him. We leave for Chicago again Sunday, and will no doubt take in another game at Wrigley. However, now there is no controlling him, so this may be an adventure...