Friday, July 11, 2008


I always thought that the Roomba was a pretty dumb invention, but the concept was interesting.

Unfortunately for the inventor, through rigorous study, I have discovered that it never needed to be invented.

Somebody simply wasted their time thinking of it, designing it, creating a prototype, debugging it, testing it profusely, getting some factory in China to build it for 4 bucks, and marketing it to Americans for 500 bucks.

Such a waste of effort.

You may ask why I make these statements? No, it's not because my random brain comes up with stupid thoughts and I am compelled to expound upon them in this blog.

Quite simply, because I have found 3 models that accomplish the same thing without a power supply or docking station, and they are all Environmentally friendly…relatively.

Roomba model 1: Small, lightweight, and amazingly effective.

Price: $900 dollars

I have never seen a robotic vacuum able to anticipate food being dropped and to be in the right place at the right time, so I figure this is waaaaay better.

Roomba model 2: Not small, certainly not light weight, and probably causes an equal number of messes as it cleans. But again, it’s “Enviro-friendly” without batteries and plastics.

Price: $1,000

And after seeing this model in action, I know it will never ever need a battery change. In fact, we should hook up some generator unit and solve the worlds energy woes at the same time as it cleans up the floors. Could you imagine a futures market for pooch power?

Roomba model 3 (Mega Industrial Mess Version):

There are still some bugs in this model. It does collect day old Cheerios from the floor and take care of them effectively though…eeeew

The issue with this most recent prototype Roomba is that it is actually keeping the aforementioned models 1 and 2 well fed and busy. Roombas’ 1 & 2 hang out near Roomba 3 in anticipation of something being flung off a high chair tray amidst loud giggles.
The other issue with expecting Roomba 3 to clean up the floors while I am doing other stuff is really that whole “expecting” part. It is much more apt to dump over toy boxes, fling food, squirrel sippy cups of milk in creative places, and them toddle off chanting, "Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma boka boka!!!!"

Price: $200,000

Yes yes...The price is jaw dropping, and I even hesitated to mention it. My deepest apologies if you were considering picking up one of these models. Honestly, the initial investment is fairly inexpensive, but you have to factor in food, clothes, college and a couple of wrecked cars worth of auto insurance… Ouch...

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